What Does It Mean to Be Sex Positive?

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Sex-positivity is the view that sex for pleasure is natural and good and that freedom of sexual expression is a human right.

The main point of sex positivity is to acknowledge sexual diversity and encourage sexual self-exploration without shame for people who choose this path. It acknowledges that people experience and may define sex differently according to their sexual interests and see intercourse as one of many various acts that could be called “sex” (Glickman, 2009).

What is sex positivity and what is not

Sex-positivity also recognizes sexual exploration as a path to fulfillment, self-knowledge, healing, and growth that can extend even beyond the erotic realm (Blue, 2007; Harrington, 2016).

Active consent is a critical aspect of being sex-positive. It is when sex partners continually check in with each other during encounters to ensure their needs and boundaries are being respected and determine whether they want to continue (New Mexico Coalition of Sexual Assault Programs, 2019).

It allows the conditions in which consent can be withdrawn at any time during a sexual encounter. Active consent can only occur between people who are legally able to consent to sex.

Being sex-positive does not mean you ignore risks such as pregnancy or sexually transmitted infections or the potential for exploitation (Glickman, 2010).

Rather sex-positivity acknowledges the importance of risk-reduction as well a shame-free and pleasure-based approach to sex in achieving positive sexual health outcomes. The World Health Organization agrees:

Sexual and reproductive health and well-being are essential if people are to have responsible, safe, and satisfying sexual lives. Sexual health requires a positive approach to human sexuality and an understanding of the complex factors that shape human sexual behaviour. These factors affect whether the expression of sexuality leads to sexual health and well-being or to sexual behaviours that put people at risk or make them vulnerable to sexual and reproductive ill-health.


(World Health Organization, 2006)

Sex positivity is not the view that everyone needs to have sex a certain way or with certain people—or even have sex at all. It acknowledges that not wanting to have sex is also a valid choice for people without the desire or interest to do so (Queen, 2014).

One way to tell when you are being sex-positive is when you feel in control of your body and listen to your emotions and physical reactions in a situation. By doing this, it is easier to both acknowledge and respect your boundaries and not move into an activity that you don’t want to partake in or may not yet be ready to try (Blue, 2007).

If you repeatedly give yourself negative self-talk about your body and sexuality, you are not being sex-positive. If you pressure someone into a sexual act or scenario they are not comfortable with, you are not being sex-positive (Queen, 2014).

Being sex-positive has many benefits. It accepts various consensual forms of sexuality as legitimate and views sexual exploration as a possible path to healing and self-fulfillment (Blue, 2007; Harrington, 2016).

Related Read: Top 13 Sources of Sex Ed for Adults

References

  • Ivanski, C., & Kohut, T. (2017). Exploring definitions of sex positivity through thematic analysis. The Canadian Journal of Human Sexuality, 26(3), 216-225.