Sexting Site Arousr on Keeping Adult Chat Legit

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This is the first article in a series that will explore how to create and find ethical adult content.

Last year, multiple news outlets exposed the widespread practice of OnlyFans models outsourcing their intimate chats with fans to ghostwriters.

An accused management company called Unruly Agency now faces several lawsuits from former employees alleging pressure to commit fraud, exploitation, and wrongful termination.

Wanting to spread awareness about sexting scams, the sexting site Arousr published a blog on the rise of ghostwriting in the adult industry and reached out to SexForEveryBody.com.

When Arousr was founded in the early 2000s by Patrick Roy, it started as a phone sex company. It’s since evolved with the times, now connecting people with adult chat hosts through phone, video, or voice.

The company’s media representative, who goes by the name Femme Fatale, spoke to me about the legal and ethical concerns of adult models hiring ghostwriters. Below is a condensed version of our interview.

JO: Ghostwriting is common practice in book publishing and I recognize what people are looking for in adult services versus a book differs. I will posit there is an unspoken part of sexting that involves keeping up a fantasy. At least on the very basic level of fantasy, of imagination, and of pretending to be with a person when physically you are not in the same space.

How is the line crossed when an adult content creator uses a ghostwriter to send sexual text messages?

FF: “It doesn’t happen on Arousr. That’s what we kind of blew the whistle on for alternative platforms because they’re not monitoring their content closely enough with subscriber-based content-creator sites. But it does blur the line because you’re not being authentically sold what you’re paying for. So if you’re paying to chat with someone, you’re expecting to chat with that person, not with a man or not with another woman or some outsource person from who knows where for a cheaper rate that they can funnel other messages through essentially to maintain their profit margin as an independent creator.

“So it completely eludes the illusion. The illusion is roleplay and you want to roleplay with somebody who you find sexy and hot and that arouses you. But if you’re not actually talking to that person, who you’ve put money down to chat with, that’s a scam. I think that should actually be illegal in terms of the Internet because it’s a huge breach of services because you’re not actually providing the service that you sold, whether it’s an independent creator or platform at large allowing that to go down.”

JO: Is it ever OK for a chat host to use a ghostwriter? For example, I think non-sex work celebrities will not necessarily be the author of the autograph on their headshot sent out to fans or have personal assistants handle messages.

FF: “At Arousr, no, because it’s not about volume; it’s about connection. The algorithm for Arousr that’s built into the system itself—which helps members find the appropriate chat hosts to have a conversation and a connection with—it ranks everyone on the website based on their engagement factor. So the higher you rank with engagement, the higher you rank on the websites. You’re going to turn up on the first page and in the top tier if you’re a great conversational person with great conversation skills.

“Engagement is built right into the algorithm of Arousr as opposed to other platforms that do not value, engagement at all. So there’s a whole list of them out there that do not value engagement, they value dollars over engagement. The business model behind Arousr is engagement leads to better connections, leads to dollars.

“You wouldn’t be able to be successful on our platform if you were trying to [use a ghostwriter], because the system would catch it that you were obviously filtering messages or outsourcing it in some way, shape, or form. Your reply rate would probably be a lot slower and it also wouldn’t be as authentic.”

JO: How does Arousr track engagement?

FF: “If there’s more response coming from the members, they’re engaging because they’re happy with their experience, and they want more of that experience. That’s how it’s tracked.

“From the host, we can track how much they’re trying to engage with a member. We can quantify that by seeing really if the member is engaging more than typically. That means they’re having a much better conversation because they’re not going to pay to just talk if they’re not having a good time.”

JO: How does Arousr ensure the chat hosts are accurately representing themselves?

“Everything that is recorded is monitored with our algorithm and personally through staff. Everything is watched constantly to make sure that things like kids and animals and anything to do with what’s outside of our Terms of Service, which is things like bestiality, anything with violence, blood, gore, manipulation, financial manipulation into people’s bank accounts. Things of that situation we don’t want going on at our platforms, because it’s technically illegal. So as long as everything’s within our Terms of Service, it’s allowed to happen.

“We do a strict verification process from the beginning. When a chat host signs up, they give their ID as well as a current picture with a signed and dated piece of paper, handwritten that we can double-check to make sure that’s matching with the face. Then once they start uploading content onto the platform—because they do have the ability to also sell their own video clips or photo shoot galleries, they’re making to members—they also need to put up a profile photo and have a couple of free images so members can see that they are a real person.

“There’s also another double-check on the profile after that point to make sure all of those images line up with the person that was verified and that’s constantly happening throughout the platform of Arousr itself. So because of its strict verification and content verification processes, we can negate those things from happening and if they do happen, we get it off the platform very quickly.

“Because it’s not to say those things are not going to happen. This is the Internet, people are going to upload crazy things anytime online. Imagine what Tiktok and Instagram and Twitter are dealing with, you know billions of people using these platforms. It’s not to say those things are not happening, but it’s how quickly are those things being monitored and managed to remove them so it’s not harming anybody? That’s the thing.”

The interview has been edited and condensed for length and clarity.