David Pevsner Quotes on Sex and Aging

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Actor David Pevsner shared many choice quotes on body confidence, sex, and aging while promoting his memoir “Damn Shame” on CBC Radio in February 2022.

Damn Shame: A Memoir of Desire, Defiance and Show Tunes shares the 63-year-old’s journey from shame to self-acceptance, including struggles during childhood, his time as a male escort, and how he became the pro-aging “sexual activist” he is today.

The full audio interview with The Sunday Magazine host Piya Chattopadhyay lasts about 20 minutes and is definitely worth listening to.

Struck by great motivational gems and Pevsner’s unabashed honesty on sex and getting older, I’ve shared some of my favorite quotes below.

On why David Pevsner wrote his memoir and manifesto on ageism and body shame:

When you get older, you feel like you’re redundant, like “nobody wants me anymore,” and I just want people to stop feeling that way.

I want society to stop putting that on people, and I want people to start just having the conversation, that difficult conversation, about sex, and aging, and nudity, and all the stuff. That dinnertime conversation makes people really nervous. I think it’s time to stop being nervous about it.

On what he would say to a child struggling to develop self-confidence:

First of all, I love you. There are people out there who love you, love you for who you are. I know you. Little kid out there. I know you. You are me an I am you. If you’re not getting the kind of support from your family or your friends, then you kind of have to look inside yourself and go, “What do I love about myself? I’m smart, I’m artistic, I’m funny.” Whatever, and start with that.

Find a way inside yourself to kind of go, “I’m really good. I’m great.” I wish I had done that. I wish I had given myself credit for all those attributes that I just talked about. But I didn’t I only focused on the bad stuff, or what I thought was the bad stuff.

On how he learned sexiness is not skin deep—after bulking up with muscle:

I was starting to get attention for something that I never thought would be, which was becoming a bit of a physical specimen that I used to kind of drool over when I was a kid and didn’t really know what it was… but it was very skin deep because it was my shell that was attracting people. I was still the same person. But I was very insecure, because I felt like all my self esteem was in my biceps.

Related Read; Men, Sex, and Getting Older: Your Emotional Toolkit for Enjoying Sex As You Age

On why his body confidence reminders are pro-aging:

I don’t want people to think that they’re ever redundant. You know, there are guys in their 70s and 80s, who are doing what I’m doing. And it may not be your thing, but that doesn’t matter. It’s always somebody thing…

That’s what hurts my heart more than anything. When I get messages from guys all the time saying, “I love what you’re doing. I couldn’t do it. I feel like I’m 55 years old and my lover died 10 years ago, and I’ll never find somebody and I would really love that.”

God, it just hurts my heart because you can find somebody, there’s somebody out there for everybody. But you’ve got to have the confidence in yourself to say I’m not done.

On what David Pevsner sees when he looks in the mirror:

I see a guy who’s aging, but very often I say I’m grateful you’re still here. My back hurts, my knees are not great. But I continue to say that I’m going to take care of you guys in the mirror.